How Infertility Treatment Can Impact a Couple's Sexual Relationship

If infertility is impacting your sexual relationship, we are here to help.

Struggling with infertility can cause a range of difficulties for a couple, and we recommend marriage counseling or couples therapy with a couple’s therapist who specializes in infertility.

Infertility, and the treatments of infertility can cause significant financial stress, feelings of inadequacy or low self-esteem, feelings of guilt, relationship distress, feelings of loss and grief.

Commonly couples report sexual dissatisfaction, low sexual desire and sexual dysfunction due to sex starting to feel like a “chore” or if it feels too clinical. Others may experience

anxiety around sex, as the stakes become higher and needs to happen within a certain time frame. These difficulties may be intensified the longer infertility treatment is.

Couples may find the following helpful when faced with infertility treatment:

1. Understand that these changes are normal: Most couples experience these difficulties when undergoing fertility treatment. Infertility & the resulting treatment directly impacts sexual functioning. It is important that both partners understand this and do not personalize the other’s sexual dysfunction.
   

2. Understand the role of stress: Stress related to infertility and infertility treatment can cause a major decrease in sexual desire. It is important that both partners do not begin to believe that low sexual desire is due to a disinterest in the relationship or partner.  
   

3. Separate “baby making” and “love making”: It is important to differentiate these two different types of sex. It might be helpful to assign different areas of the house for each type of sex.
   

4. Be More Direct: It can be helpful to be more open regarding what sexually feels best including sexual positions or what body parts one might want touched (especially for the partner undergoing treatment). This can change for instance during an egg retrieval cycle or IVF cycle when hormones are causing significant changes.
   

5. Increase Outercourse: Try increasing other types of sexual intimacy like non-penetrative activities or even cuddling and kissing.
   

6. Focus on Pleasure: During non-fertile time periods, put more of an emphasis on playful or exciting ways to sexually connect. This could look like role playing, wearing lingerie, playing a sex board game, using toys, etc.
   

7. Set Boundaries: It is often helpful for couples to set boundaries around talking about infertility. Setting aside a weekly scheduled time to discuss next steps and discussing each other’s needs may be helpful.
   

8. Focus on Emotional Intimacy: Spend more time on strengthening emotional intimacy rather than sexual intimacy. This might look like engaging in a shared hobby together, trying a new activity, or making an effort to go out on more dates.
   

Struggling with the impact of infertility or infertility treatment on your relationship? Better Being Group specializes in infertility counseling, marriage counseling and couples therapy for partners navigating the emotional and physical challenges of infertility. Our licensed therapists provide compassionate, evidence-based support to help couples strengthen intimacy, communication, and resilience during this difficult journey.

We offer flexible appointment times — mornings, daytime, evenings, and weekends — through secure Online Therapy in 42 states, including Connecticut, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Florida, Texas, Massachusetts, Illinois, and California. For those in the nearby Philadelphia or Main Line area, in-person sessions are available at our Bryn Mawr, PA office.

Reconnect with your partner and find support through infertility — contact Better Being Group today to learn more about couples therapy.

By: Heather Davidson, Ed.M., M.A., LPC, CST, PMH-C