What Is Gaslighting? 7 Red Flags of Emotional and Psychological Abuse
- Better Being Psychology Group
- Oct 20
- 2 min read
Gaslighting is a form of emotional and psychological abuse in which one person manipulates another into questioning their own memory, perception, or reality. The term comes from the 1938 play — and later the 1944 movie — Gaslight, where a husband convinces his wife she’s “crazy.”
Gaslighting often happens gradually, leaving the victim feeling confused, anxious, depressed, and isolated. Below are seven red flags that may indicate you’re being gaslighted by a partner or loved one.
1. They Lie — Even When You Know the Truth
A gaslighter may lie blatantly and often. They’ll insist they’re right even when you have proof otherwise, leaving you doubting your own sense of reality.
2. They Dismiss Your Concerns
If you express discomfort, they may call you “too sensitive” or “crazy.” This invalidation can make you feel like your needs don’t matter or that you’re the problem.
3. They Use Children or Pets as Leverage
Gaslighters sometimes exploit what matters most to you — threatening to take the kids, pets, or something else important — to maintain control and keep you fearful or compliant.
4. They Undermine You to Others
They may tell friends, family, or colleagues that you’re unstable or untrustworthy, isolating you from your support system. Some even misuse legal or social systems to reinforce the false narrative that they’re the victim.
5. They Project Their Behavior Onto You
When confronted, a gaslighter often accuses you of the very things they’re doing — being controlling, abusive, or toxic — distracting you from their own behavior.
6. You Begin Questioning Yourself
You might find yourself unhappy and confused, wondering why. Looking back at past relationships, you may realize you once felt confident and capable — a sign that this dynamic is eroding your self-trust.
7. You Can’t Seem to “Do Anything Right”
No matter how hard you try, it’s never enough. Occasionally they’ll offer praise or affection, keeping you emotionally hooked and unsure what’s real.
Healing After Gaslighting
Anyone can be vulnerable to gaslighting. Manipulation often unfolds slowly, making it difficult to recognize until the damage has been done. Therapy with a trauma specialist can help you process the experience, rebuild self-esteem, and restore trust in your own perception.
EMDR therapy and trauma-informed counseling are highly effective for survivors of emotional and psychological abuse. These approaches help reduce anxiety and self-blame while fostering a renewed sense of confidence and safety.
At Better Being Group, our licensed therapists offer trauma therapy, EMDR, and PTSD treatment for individuals and couples. We provide in-person sessions in Pennsylvania and online therapy across multiple states including Connecticut, Massachusetts, Florida, Texas, Colorado, New Jersey, Maryland, and beyond, helping survivors heal and reclaim their sense of self.
